PSL (closed)

[1stknight]

[Honestly, being summoned was quite the surprise to Bedivere. Being a saber, he knew he was at a disadvantage. After all, there were so many more sabers even just from the Round Table who were much more famous, so surely they would have been summoned over him. In fact, he was sure it had happened countless times before. That one master he had met, the one from Chaldea, they had spoken of singularities and grail wars to span several worlds and timelines. And with so many fine Sabers to choose from, he was sure that he hadn't ever been summoned before. The short time between the 'creation of his legend' and 'now' notwithstanding.

It made him feel a touch inadequate, if he was being truthful. After all, he was a simple knight. The master who had summoned him, he deserved better than someone like him. But if he was the one who was summoned, then he would fulfill his duty to this new master. Nothing would be done in half-steps, never again.

So as his form solidified in the summoning circle, Bedivere offered his new master a warm smile. Once again, his life was sworn to someone else's. Whatever his master wished for, Bedivere would help him achieve it.]

Saber, Bedivere. I am honored to be summoned by you. From now on, I shall be your Servant.

['I am honored to be summoned at all' was the truth, but he didn't speak that.

Then he paused, and he took a survey of the situation. The summoning circle was expertly made, but this man in front of him...well. He didn't look like a mage. He looked like a normal person. Perhaps it was a disguise? Or maybe there was more to this situation than he could see immediately. He would have to wait for his new master to respond in order to find out more.]

Comments

[neverwashere]

[If there's anyone who was sweet here, it was Bedivere.

Shoulders relaxing, Dazai curled his fingers around the comb and gestured at the futon: please sit down.]

As you wish.

Does that mean I'll see you in these clothes more often?

[1stknight]

Well, these are night clothes, yes? So I imagine I would need to wear them every night.

[He still had a lot to learn about Japanese customs. But he did do as Dazai requested, and he moved to sit down on the futon.

Or, well. He tried. He managed to get down to kneeling, but sitting seiza-style was too much for him. And he couldn't sit cross-legged, not without hiking the yukata up to his waist. Should he sit with his legs out to the side? But that was how women sat in dresses, wasn't it?

Help him, Dazai, he was stuck.]

[neverwashere]

Not just that. They're designed to be more casual clothing compared to the usual. Perfect for summer.

[And oh, right! It was interesting, the kind of information one can take for granted.]

Here - try this for now.

[Planting the balls of his feet on the floor, he got down to his knees next to Bedivere and sat on his raised heels. Not ideal for sitting very long, but sufficient enough to last untangling hair.]

Let's get a chair next time.

[1stknight]

[Huh! That was an interesting way to sit. And luckily Bedivere had some strong leg muscles, so crouching like that would be possible for at least a little while. It did take some maneuvering, but eventually Bedivere was sitting much in the way Dazai was, and he was disciplined enough too stay still.]

A chair next time would be better, but I didn't see any chairs here.

[neverwashere]

There will be one tomorrow.

[Don't ask how.

Ah, but if Bedivere was seated - Dazai shifted to kneel behind him, carefully gathering the long hair in his hand to make sure the strands were sufficiently dried before let them cascade down Bedivere's back. It's all quite domestic, and he felt oddly tingly as he started combing the ends to gently work out any tangles. Afterwards, he'd start from the scalp.]

Tell me a story.

[1stknight]

You don't have to buy things for my benefit, master. I will only be here a couple weeks at most.

[A casual reminder of their looming deadline. This would all end before the month was out. And unless they fought wisely, Bedivere could be gone sooner.

Bedivere's hair was still a bit damp, but it was dry enough for a comb to work through it easily. Dazai wasn't the only one feeling tingly, either: as soon as Dazai started working from his scalp downwards, Bedivere had to suck in a quiet breath as his eyes slid shut.

It felt absolutely heavenly. No wonder people liked being pampered.]

What kind of a story? One from my travels?

[The question was delayed by a couple moments, mostly because he was trying really hard to not sound anything other than dignified. He would not moan here, he was determined not to embarrass himself over having his hair combed.]

[neverwashere]

[Dazai gave a non-committal hum. It was a good thing he was behind Bedivere - for a moment, his smile grew flat, though he managed to keep the motions of his hands steady.

His curse of losing what he found valuable was back in full swing.]

If you'd like.

[He kept to a murmur, hiding any unsteadiness in his tone.]

[1stknight]

[Something about that tone worried Bedivere, but he didn't question it at that moment. Much like how their positioning kept Dazai's expression a secret, The soft frown on Bedivere's face was out of view. He hummed for a moment, delaying so he could both regain his composure and actually think of a story, before speaking.]

I saw a volcano, once. They're these big mountains, except at the top they aren't actually mountains at all. They open up into pits of liquid fire, hot enough to melt anything. I didn't get close, but even at a distance it was a sight to behold.

[neverwashere]

Oh?

[He imagined Bedivere's hair gaining a reddish tinge. Bedivere's face half-hidden in the shadow of a hood, his cheek stained with soot.

Maybe Bedivere would also look nice with his hair done up differently? Ah, but his mind wandered.]

And what business brought you to the vicinity of an active volcano?

[1stknight]

I was looking for someone. I spent many, many years wandering many, many worlds, all in the name of tracking down that person.

The volcano itself was quite a wonder. So destructive, and yet so beautiful at the same time.

[He sighed fondly at the memory. One of the nice parts about traveling so much was seeing everything he could see. Even if he didn't fully appreciate it at the time, he could look back on it with nostalgia now.]

[neverwashere]

I imagine it's like fire-gazing, except with an exponential amount of sublime terror.

[Because active volcano.]

On the other hand, any farmlands near it might have the tastiest vegetables, for as long as the volcano cooperates.

What do you mean when you say 'worlds,' though? Worlds as in country? Or something like an alternate reality?

[1stknight]

I've never had a volcano-roasted vegetable, unfortunately.

[As for that second part, Bedivere hummed thoughtfully for a moment.]

Both? It was many countries on Earth, but then other Earths as well. There was an Earth were the Roman Empire never fell, an Earth where Merlin was a woman instead of a man, things like that. They were all Earth, and recognizably so, but different too.

[neverwashere]

[He snickered. Sorry, but - what roasted the vegetables now?]

An ashy, sulfur-infused delicacy, for sure.

[The description of these different worlds, though, gave him pause. They kind of reminded him of the Book, if not something straight out of a sci-fi novel.]

And would the people in one world be cognizant of their counterpart? How do you even manage cross-dimensional travel?

[Bedivere's hair was certifiably tangle-free now and Dazai's hands might've slowed, but he was a little reluctant to stop.]

[1stknight]

[It was fine, Bedivere certainly didn't protest the extra attention to his hair. It felt very nice, and Bedivere was tempted to lean back against Dazai because of how relaxed he felt. But that was a bit too improper for him, and instead he stayed sitting politely.]

I don't think they were, no. Merlin's magic is what allowed me to visit several different worlds. I...had to find someone, and he insisted on helping me.

Though my travels are done now, so I suspect I will not be seeing those worlds again anytime soon.

[neverwashere]

I see.

[Then perhaps Bedivere had found who he was looking for, or he'd died. Or both, and not necessarily at the same time.

Dazai gently gathered Bedivere's hair and lifted the strands under the pretext of readying them for another run with the comb, and valiantly resisted kissing Bedivere's nape.]

I'm glad you found help, then. Your journey must've been very long.

[And lonely, he doesn't add, thought it's a very near thing.]

[1stknight]

It was. Fortunately the magic from Excalibur allowed me to live long enough to travel. For as long as it was, it was also necessary.

[And very, very lonely. Even though he had met countless people in his journeys, he never really felt close to any of them. Merlin was the only one he had talked to regularly.

Ritsuka, maybe. That teenager was special, But ultimately their time working together was short, and they had to part ways. Maybe Bedivere would be summoned by them, someday.]

I'm no stranger to wandering, though. It affords me the chance to see many things that most people could only dream of.

[neverwashere]

[And now, his fingers stilled, breath caught in his chest.

Why - there was something he's been wondering about for quite a while, no? Bedivere's personality and circumstances were vastly different from his own - having a goal probably helped - but.]

Given everything you've witnessed and experienced, how do think people find what it means to live?

[He couldn't help how pensive he sounded, or how everything around them seemed so quiet. If Bedivere turned around, he'd get a rare chance to see an openly lost expression on Dazai's face.]

[1stknight]

That's a very personal question, Master.

[Bedivere's response there was quiet, but also gentle. He wasn't reprimanding Dazai or pulling away, but rather trying to open up a discussion in a way that hopefully wouldn't ruffle feathers.]

Of all the people I have met, everyone's answer has always been different. Likewise, my answer will be different from yours. "Why am I alive" isn't an easy answer, it's a personal journey.

But if you're looking for a place to start finding that answer, "because there's something I must do" isn't a bad place to begin.

[neverwashere]

Is it?

[He had phrased it in such a way that'd allow Bedivere to give a general answer. Then again, this was Bedivere, and speculating about another person's business might be seen as rude.

The same went for his next question, a distinction he kept circling back to before he followed Odasaku's advice.]

And what if one doesn't really think there's anything they're supposed to do?

[Perhaps part of his difficulty lay in finding whatever constituted as definite proof. Nothing of that sort objectively existed in concrete reality, and Odasaku was also right in that regard: Dazai might not find the kind of answer he was looking for.]

[1stknight]

Then I suppose the first step is finding that thing they're supposed to do. We're all born for a purpose. Sometimes people figure out their purpose right away, and sometimes people spend decades trying to find that purpose.

[There was a short pause, and then Bedivere's gaze dropped down a bit. Even if his back was to Dazai, his body language was easy to read. He was talking about difficult memories.]

Even something like "I made a mistake, and I need to rectify it" can be your purpose for living.

[neverwashere]

[Saying something like everyone's born with it had troubled him when he was younger. Who determines what, for one? And it sounded so utilitarian! Then one had plenty of people claiming that so-and-so was one's purpose, but that's only because it suited their ends.

The years passed, and Dazai figured that the language of the phrase was convenient shorthand for something, because he's seen certain people shine and do a couple of things they were passionate about like they lived and breathed it. Also, certain people he surrounded himself with growing up with were actually worse than his decidedly uncharitable first impressions of them.

In a way, Bedivere steering him back to the age-old adage was kind of funny, and he couldn't help but crack a smile.]

I guess. Though it's not the same as making it so that the damage doesn't exist.

[Because that was impossible. He knew that intimately.

Perhaps the moment had gotten the better of him, because he found himself leaning forward, resting his forehead at the center of Bedivere's back.]

You really went all-out with the shampoo, didn't you?

[1stknight]

[Bedivere would have said something like that: that erasing the damage was impossible, and all you could do was try to fix the situation as much as possible. But then he felt a face pressed against his back and oh, he was smelling his hair. This was intimate. Bedivere exhaled a sudden breath before speaking.]

Ah- M-master?

[He sounded both surprised and a touch flustered there. This was just like out of his romance novels.]

[neverwashere]

[He chuckled and closed his eyes. What an unfairly cute reaction.]

Just resting my head.

You're a surprisingly reliable pillow under all the metal plating, you know.

[A flimsy excuse. He really sucked at doing casual with someone like Bedivere, and he hasn't exactly forgotten why the both of them just bathed.

Make use of their limited time together, indeed. Well, Dazai could try and stave off his sudden bout of wistfulness by adding levity to his tone and not think about how he was, in a way, still trying to not get his hopes up.]

Now, seeing as your hair's all nice and smooth now, why don't you tell me all about mana sharing? Is there a specific requirement for it aside from an orgasm?

[1stknight]

[Somehow the first half there was far more embarrassing than the second. Flowery language like that got to Bedivere, it seemed. He swore he could feel his face burn as he tried to answer Dazai's question, his thoughts wandering with just how effective of a pillow he could be for Dazai.]

It's- it's more about the physical contact than the results, honestly. Sex is a very raw bond between two people, and that bond is what allows the mana to pass between the two of them.

[Maybe if he focused on the technical aspect of it all he wouldn't be so embarrassed.

(That was a lie, he was absolutely still embarrassed.)]

[neverwashere]

[Bedivere's preference for flowery language was well noted for future use. Dazai might not have seen that blush, which was a shame, but he certainly heard that stutter.]

Then it's the intimacy that matters, hmm?

[Well, he could work with that.

He'd be depressed once Bedivere left or if they lost, but he could work with that.

Dazai shuffled around so he could sit in front of Bedivere. Already he missed the closeness of their earlier position, but this was the kind of conversation that needed to happen face-to-face.]

Let's start off simple, then. Would you like to touch me first? Or would you prefer I lead, then you try?

[A basic exploration of each other's bodies with hands was a good way to kick things off. His selfishness aside, Dazai figured it'd be better for Bedivere to be more comfortable in his skin while doing this first before anything else.]