1stknight | PSL (closed)

PSL (closed)

[Honestly, being summoned was quite the surprise to Bedivere. Being a saber, he knew he was at a disadvantage. After all, there were so many more sabers even just from the Round Table who were much more famous, so surely they would have been summoned over him. In fact, he was sure it had happened countless times before. That one master he had met, the one from Chaldea, they had spoken of singularities and grail wars to span several worlds and timelines. And with so many fine Sabers to choose from, he was sure that he hadn't ever been summoned before. The short time between the 'creation of his legend' and 'now' notwithstanding.

It made him feel a touch inadequate, if he was being truthful. After all, he was a simple knight. The master who had summoned him, he deserved better than someone like him. But if he was the one who was summoned, then he would fulfill his duty to this new master. Nothing would be done in half-steps, never again.

So as his form solidified in the summoning circle, Bedivere offered his new master a warm smile. Once again, his life was sworn to someone else's. Whatever his master wished for, Bedivere would help him achieve it.]

Saber, Bedivere. I am honored to be summoned by you. From now on, I shall be your Servant.

['I am honored to be summoned at all' was the truth, but he didn't speak that.

Then he paused, and he took a survey of the situation. The summoning circle was expertly made, but this man in front of him...well. He didn't look like a mage. He looked like a normal person. Perhaps it was a disguise? Or maybe there was more to this situation than he could see immediately. He would have to wait for his new master to respond in order to find out more.]

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[He makes a soft noise of understanding. Can't fault the good knight for practicality! And meals that are quick to cook and eat might be better in the battlefield, since there's no telling when someone might spring an attack...

Okay, maybe he's thinking of modern warfare or bandits. Dazai has no clue if chivalric honor extended to holding unspoken ceasefires for lunch, and he parts his lips, catching the bit of bacon between his teeth and pulling it into his mouth.

He blinks. Nice and crispy - wasn't there something about spending at least ten thousand hours to attain mastery? No doubt Bedivere's long surpassed that count, and he speaks after chewing and swallowing.]

That's good! [He'll chase after Bedivere's fingers if they're still up with his mouth, just because.] Ever consider cooking for someone to appease them? Assuming the absurd has happened and your smile isn't enough to calm them down.

[Medieval warfare certainly is a thing! Battles tend to go on longer and have larger pauses when illness rather than injury is the primary killer. There's a reason why Bedivere is decked out in heavy armor, after all.]

I have done that before, for homeowners that needed a payment to allow me to stay for a night. Or even as a 'thank you' for those that allowed me to stay for free. A good breakfast puts everyone in high spirits, I've found.

I think you might be overestimating my smile, though. It sets people at ease, yes, but I don't think most people go looking for it specifically.

Makes sense.

[Just look at Atsushi and Kyouka.

Now that he's had a bit of food, though, he'll brush his lips on Bedivere's nape before stepping back with a full-body stretch - might as well get started on the coffee and bring out the crockery.]

Nonsense. They'll gravitate towards you regardless, mesmerizing as you are.

[Has he mentioned he's biased?]

Hush, you.

[In a moment of daring, Bedivere reaches back to pull Dazai in for a quick kiss before letting him go. One kiss to his neck isn't enough to satisfy him.

That said, within a moment or two his brain catches up with his body and his ears go bright red. Watch him pretend to not be blushing there, Bedivere isn't embarrassed by his own actions, nope! He's just cooking breakfast here.]

[The sudden second kiss comes as a surprise, and his lips still tingle when they draw apart. Dazai blinks owlishly as Bedivere looks away, the stunned silence breaking when he spots a reddened ear peaking from behind flaxen hair.

The shameless snicker that escapes him sort of makes up for his dear knight's bashfulness? Maybe? As does the brazen way he reaches forward to tuck away that lock of hair and leans in to plant a third kiss on Bedivere's fully exposed cheek.]

You know I'm right.

[And he dances away to dodge any embarrassed smacking. The coffee should be done just in time for breakfast to be served.]

I already told you to hush!

[His response is snappy, but that's because of embarrassment, not genuine anger. It's lucky Dazai has ducked out of the way though, Bedivere had been considering sending Dazai on his way with a smack.

The coffee does smell good as it brews, though, which helps. A good, hearty breakfast with some coffee is the best way to start the day. Especially a day that's going to have a field trip in it.]

Please tell me we have plenty of time before we're meeting your 'friend' today.

[Breakfast is good. Has been good since Bedivere's taken over the kitchen, actually, and Dazai drinks deep from his mug of sweetened coffee with a satisfied sigh. Talk about setting a new record for the number of consecutive non-canned or instant meals he's had in the past year or two.

Bah, as if he keeps count.]

Sure we do - unless you need more time than "after lunch." [He peers over curiously.] Need to prepare something?

[Maybe if Dazai keeps eating real food he'll break himself of the canned food addiction. Maybe.]

I need to steel my will to keep myself from giving away everything. Given the nature of my Noble Phantasm, I'm sure they both can already guess at our trysts. But I would rather not give anyone an excuse to talk about it.

[He doesn't want his king to know he's having sex and enjoying it a lot. It may be a hopeless cause though, given how smitten he is with Dazai.]

[Canned crab addiction. For obvious reasons, real crab will fix the problem, but anyone supplying him might have to kiss their wallet goodbye.

And. Bedi.]

Including me teasing you? It'll be a shame, but I suppose I did promise to protect your dignity, and it's really not a proper discussion for... [A beat. Right.] Young ears.

[So sayeth Dazai reluctantly, pretending that he also doesn't want a certain someone with two moles and a pair of glasses bringing up this development.]

If you want to remain discreet, are you sure giving them the excuse of, oh, prolonged hand-holding won't work? Plus plenty of food and sleep.

[Flimsy alibi, but might be worth a shot?]

You can tease me in private. All four of us will know what is the quickest way to provide a Servant with mana, but the polite thing to do is to not assume that's what is happening. After all, it wouldn't be good if we assumed those two-

[...no. He can't think about Ango and Artoria having sex. He refuses. They just hold hands too.]

...

They. They should beholding hands for that. And nothing more. And we should act as if nothing else is happening, much like they will be doing.

[Do not take advantage of the future king, Artoria.]

[--- yeah, no, his brain's not going there, and he grimaces into his coffee.]

Ango's not the type to go beyond anything platonic for someone like Caster, and you saw how he tried to defend her from me.

[Audibly vouching for the guy without a backhanded compliment doesn't come naturally to him these days, but Dazai figures making himself clear is the better step. Bedivere, he guesses, will be naturally concerned about the welfare of his king.

...

He sighs.]

No, if anything, he'll silently judge me for corrupting you.

[Kind of. It was better to think of Ango reacting that way instead of Ango linking Bedivere to Dazai's type - y'know, the same way Odasaku had been and. Yeah.]

[Time to skip right past any implications that Ango and Artoria are sleeping together! Ango is too gay and Artoria is too pure.]

Now THAT is ridiculous. You didn't even summon me, you just took up the place of Master when the summoner died. And there's nothing corrupting about all of this anyway, it's a natural part of a Grail War.

[Bedivere, this man sucked your dick and you gave him a facial. Not even 12 hours ago.]

[Having his honor defended like this is so cute.

So of course Dazai has to demonstrate why it's false.]

By that logic, PDA is permissible.

We just have to make sure that Ango doesn't catch us.

[By "we," he means "I," and "catch us" is actually "call us out."]

[Bedivere is literally Dazai's white knight. This is setting the precedent for Atsushi's future behaviors.]

He seems like the type who would catch us regardless. But if you absolutely must have some form of PDA, then holding hands will be acceptable.

[The major reason for no kissing: in Bedivere's experience, kissing tends to lead to other things that are not permissible in public. But maybe he just needs to tire Dazai out first, so he's not tempted to push the PDA envelope too much.]

We have about three hours, yes? Then perhaps we should work the friskiness out of your system before then.

[He is absolutely blushing as he says that, but he's trying to sound serious.]

[Not that Dazai's aware of the actual precedence unfolding right in front of him. Instead, he's zoomed in on hand holding now counting as permissible behavior, quickly followed by -]

My system?

[His expression resembles a lazy cat just about to pounce on the cute mouse. Look, it's not as if he's going to deny being frisky when the invitation for him to act on it's handed over on a silver platter, but. Bedivere's proving him right already in the best way possible.]

Oh, yes, on my lonesome I can be as energetic as two people getting it on. Plus two more with your enthusiastic assistance.

[C'mon, Bedi, fess up. Here's a foot sliding along your calf from beneath the table as encouragement.

(Ango really won't need to squint too hard to catch them.)]

Yes, your system. Need I remind you that you're the one who can ta-AKE-

[Bedivere's sentence pitches up there suddenly, right as Dazai runs his foot over his calf. His brain also short-circuits for a moment and he has to fight to remember what he had been trying to say. His words after that crack in his voice sound much more rushed, like he's trying to get his thought out before he forgets it.]

-this is what I mean, you do it on purpose!

[And he can already picture Dazai tempting him discreetly by doing this exact thing, except under a table during a shared lunch, while daring Bedivere not to react.]

Take what?

[This is a 100% clean and pure move. Dazai just needed to stretch his legs until his toes draw up to Bedivere's knee. Completely incidental. Who knows if the same thing will happen over lunch?

(The innocent look's a dead giveaway here, as is dodging around that accusation.)]

[The innocent look is not so innocent, which is why Bedivere is going to assume he's right. And for a moment he gets a bit huffy about it, but then he remembers something important: he knows Dazai is lewd, and this is fine because the goal is to tire Dazai out here so he behaves later.]

Take...take our time right now, yes.

[Bedivere that doesn't fit with your previous sentence.

But he has decided that two can play at this game, and he's going to lift his foot up slightly to bump it against Dazai's, playing literal footsie for a moment.]

I did say I would learn from last night and do the same to you, didn't I?

[Honestly it's a good attempt. Dazai will take it even if he knows he's being baited, and he rubs his ankle on Bedivere's. Go on, he's interested to see where this'll go.]

So you did.

[He nudges his bowl to the side in clear invitation.]

Exactly the same? Or is there a surprise in between?

Exactly the same would be boring, wouldn't it?

[Well, maybe not, given how exciting sex in general is. But Bedivere does want to surprise Dazai at least a little bit, even if he's woefully inexperienced in all things sex. It's not like the kama sutra is on the required reading list for knights.

What he really wants is to have anal sex with Dazai, but he doesn't even know the words for it or how to express it to Dazai, so. ...well actually, Bedivere is suddenly going to get an idea. His love of reading- another trait that will be passed on to Atsushi eventually- might help out here.]

Are there any books on this subject? Some research might be helpful as well. Just so I, er, have some surprises for you.

[The Kama Sutra might not have reached Britain, but there's more than one bawdy tavern song around.

Speaking of books - Dazai's eyebrows hike up at the unusual request.]

Are you asking me if I have porn?

[The surprise makes even the chance of teasing Bedivere slip from his mind. Dazai doesn't have outright h-material around, but he does have the internet and erotica baked into partly depressing literature. Briefly, he heads back to his room and retrieves three books and a laptop. After placing these in front of the knight and settles down next to him, Dazai promptly re-links their ankles and plants his chin on Bedivere's shoulder.]

Browse away! If you're looking online, I'll let you know which links to avoid.

[And make several filthy comments in the process.]

Not pornography, that isn't going to be helpful. Textbooks would be better? Or informational articles?

[Or the internet. The internet is helpful for these kinds of things. Hopefully that's not a work laptop though, because Bedivere doesn't know what an incognito browser window is and poor Kunikida having to find out that Dazai's laptop is being used to google "how do two men have sex?"

Videos pop up first, as well as a 'how to' wiki article with some rather creative-yet-horrifying drawings. Bedivere is absolutely going to click on a gay porn video if Dazai doesn't stop him.]

[Even if it was a work laptop, Dazai makes it a habit to clear his search history.

...okay, maybe not all of them. He does leave in filth and random shit to leave any would-be hackers suitably unimpressed.

Now, to save his unsuspecting lover from the beast that is modern porn, or no? Having sex on the line makes for a convincing argument, so he leans forward, nipping an earlobe as a distraction as he gently grasps Bedivere's wrist.]

Still think porn's unhelpful? [Now there's a bit of a joke with at twist. Sure it's unrealistic in plenty of ways - even harmful - but there are gems every now and then. Not that Dazai cares to go hunting when Bedi here's the real diamond in the rough.] What are you looking for, anyway - sex positions?

[A guess based on the search words.]

[Bedivere was already a bit embarrassed just by doing the search- he feels like everyone can see him, and he doesn't want to have to explain this to anyone whose opinion he cares about- but it's that nip on his earlobe and the gentle touch that gets Bedivere to blush.]

Truthfully I don't know how to do this. They, ah. Any education I had was about a man and a woman.

...I don't want to disappoint you.

[There, he finally said it. It feels like a relief to admit to it, but he's also anxious about how Dazai will respond to it.]

[Oh. Oh.

Dazai slips an arm around Bedivere's shoulder and nuzzles his cheek... before lightly poking the other one, ending in a playful caress.]

Protip: anxiety's a performance killer.

You know, a prostitute showed me the ropes after I looked all this up. [He scrolls down and clicks on an actually helpful website.] Can't say I didn't have my fair share of fumbling either.

[Not that he's about to bring up his previous reputation now, but the fact is that sex only became a relaxing affair after he left the mafia.]

Trust me, I'd say I was worse off than you when I started out. What matters is that you're having fun and are into it, since that makes even falling off the bed a fond memory in hindsight.

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