PSL (closed)

[1stknight]

[Honestly, being summoned was quite the surprise to Bedivere. Being a saber, he knew he was at a disadvantage. After all, there were so many more sabers even just from the Round Table who were much more famous, so surely they would have been summoned over him. In fact, he was sure it had happened countless times before. That one master he had met, the one from Chaldea, they had spoken of singularities and grail wars to span several worlds and timelines. And with so many fine Sabers to choose from, he was sure that he hadn't ever been summoned before. The short time between the 'creation of his legend' and 'now' notwithstanding.

It made him feel a touch inadequate, if he was being truthful. After all, he was a simple knight. The master who had summoned him, he deserved better than someone like him. But if he was the one who was summoned, then he would fulfill his duty to this new master. Nothing would be done in half-steps, never again.

So as his form solidified in the summoning circle, Bedivere offered his new master a warm smile. Once again, his life was sworn to someone else's. Whatever his master wished for, Bedivere would help him achieve it.]

Saber, Bedivere. I am honored to be summoned by you. From now on, I shall be your Servant.

['I am honored to be summoned at all' was the truth, but he didn't speak that.

Then he paused, and he took a survey of the situation. The summoning circle was expertly made, but this man in front of him...well. He didn't look like a mage. He looked like a normal person. Perhaps it was a disguise? Or maybe there was more to this situation than he could see immediately. He would have to wait for his new master to respond in order to find out more.]

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[1stknight]

['I already want to do it again and it's only been five minutes since the last time.'

But no, he couldn't admit to that. Never. He couldn't let sex become a distraction during the Grail War, he needed to be focused on fighting and winning.]

One being better doesn't mean we should avoid the other though. We can still hold hands while you sleep. Or, ah, lay next to each other. We are both undressed enough that there will be physical contact.

[neverwashere]

[That suggestion to lie next to each other was where Dazai's brain was now stuck at, because wanting something was equal parts delight and misery.]

Sounds about right.

[So before he could talk himself out of it, he rolled over to pillow his head on Bedivere's shoulder while he faced away, his back lined up on the other's side, and messily pulled the blanket over them. It's the flimsiest way of stopping this from becoming too real.]

There we go.

[1stknight]

[oh, hello Dazai. Nice to see you here.

Well, Bedivere couldn't suppress the warm chuckle that bubbled up in his chest. He decided to let Dazai lay there, and he got comfortable under those blankets.

He also slipped his arm around Dazai's waist loosely, bringing them just a little bit closer.]

Sleep well, Dazai.

[neverwashere]

[Oh. But that was warm.]

You too... Bedivere.

[A quiet ache stirred in his chest, and he stubbornly closed his eyes, his arm settling over Bedivere's with the blanket between them. Until he drifted off to sleep, his ear was tuned to the sound of Bedivere breathing - since when had he been able to trust someone like this?

Even his dreams were a confusing jumble of past and present. Here was Odasaku, saying something so ridiculous with a straight face and making Dazai laugh. Here was Odasaku with five newly-orphaned children, taking them in even if he didn't have an immediate gameplan. Here was Atsushi fishing him out of the barrel on the morning of his entrance examination, the most curious blend of sass, gullibility, and skepticism bundled around open sincerity. Atsushi, escaping with Q's doll after a very long fall from the Guild's airship, lying on the ground heavily injured until Dazai found him. Atsushi, who went through all that just as Dazai betted he would, because he had the admirable quality of struggling against adversity for the sake of doing what was right.

He'd be in a somber mood when he wakes up unexpectedly an hour or so before dawn, in need ]of a glass of water.

[1stknight]

[Bedivere's dreams that night were of a similar struggle, though without the positive note that Dazai's had.

His dreams were of a hope spot, of wandering a desert full of craters and hearing rumors of knights in shining armor, of thinking finally, finally he had found what he was looking for. After countless years, his journey would finally come to an end.

He dreamed of seeing his king- changed, for sure, his king had never been that busty before- and the knights by the king's side. Gawain and Lancelot, and he presumed the others were nearby as well. It was hard to see them at this distance, but it was them.

Bedivere felt a wave of nostalgia at seeing his old friends, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Begin the selection."

A bright light shone over the crowd in front of him. He was far enough away, tucked under some rubble, that nobody seemed to notice him. But what was that light? What was the selection? The smile on Bedivere's face dropped into confusion as the lights glowed more brightly around a handful of the hundred or so people there.

Lancelot stepped forward, escorting those five people into the high walls of the city behind him. But Gawain and the King remained, looking over all of those left. Gawain's gaze was unsteady, nervous, and it made Bedivere nervous too. What was going on here?

The King looked to her loyal knight standing beside him. "Eliminate the extras."

Bedivere could only watch in horror as his trusted friend Gawain pulled out his sword and brought it down on the helpless in front of him, all by the orders of his beloved King. The screams etched their way into his mind, sure to haunt his dreams for many nights to come.

The heavy weight of sorrow, fear, confusion, and above all else guilt kept his body from moving. He clutched his arm to his chest, trying to force down the scream that was trying to force its way out. All he could do was watch until the tears stinging at his eyes blurred his vision.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault!

When Dazai woke up early, Bedivere would be gone. He had gone into spirit form when his own dream had upset him too much to sleep. Curiously, his silver arm was also gone from the table, as that seemed to disappear when he did.]

[neverwashere]

[He absently patted Bedivere's side of the bed - imagine that, someone had a side of the bed with him - to feel out how warm (or cool) it was.

Well.

He could still feel Bedivere's anguish in the way his stomach rolled, a sour tang climbing up the back of his mouth. Instead of just getting a glass of water, Dazai hunted down a candy bar and broke off a piece, never mind that he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep easily thanks to the sugar, to try and rid himself of the taste.

So Bedivere had wandered to search for Camelot again - or, at least, a place where his king and the other knights might have gathered. Except weren't they supposed to have died? And the very selection that took place in that dream was far from merciful.

A second glass of water later, and he trudged back to bed with a sigh. Dazai might've lain down again on the futon, now facing the spot Bedivere had left, but his drowsiness wasn't enough to counter the multitude of questions he had.]

...Saber?

[1stknight]

I'm here, Master.

[The answer wasn't spoken aloud, but rather it echoed through Dazai's head. It probably would have been better to manifest in the room and face Dazai directly, but his heart still ached from his dreams. If Dazai requested it he would, but for now he waited to see what Dazai would say. Dazai looked drowsy, so maybe his question would be a simple one to answer.]

[neverwashere]

[Hiding, hmm? Not that Dazai could blame him for it, if what he suspected was correct. And he figured this confirmation was long overdue, given that this was the third night in a row he's had a dream that clearly wasn't his.]

These dreams I'm having. Are they yours?

[1stknight]

[There was a long pause, almost long enough to be uncomfortable. But then Dazai would feel a sudden presence behind him, a press of a back against his own. Even if he was going to manifest to talk, it seemed like he was avoiding being seen. So sitting there back-to-back, that was how he would talk.]

Yes. And I, likewise, have been seeing yours.

Mine are, for the most part, memories of the past. Things that have come and gone. Servants don't sleep, so they don't really dream, not unless they're daydreaming. So instead, when they rest their minds go over events of the past.

[neverwashere]

...ah.

[Dazai was actually too sleepy to be upset by it, his exhaustion allowing him some measure of mental distance. Instead, he could appreciate the warmth on his back, and acknowledge that they both had really shitty memories.]

Guess we're even.

Well? What does an honorable 'n tragic knight like you think 'bout being contracted to someone despicable like me?

[1stknight]

I think you and I are a good fit for each other.

[It wasn't degrading himself, nor was it an attempt to pull Dazai out of a self-hate spiral. It was stated as if it was just a fact of the world.]

And you? Do you think you can work with someone who has made such grave mistakes in the past?

[neverwashere]

[His eyes widened when Bedivere just described them as a perfect fit, though he didn't turn around. Were they? And on what basis, if committing grave mistakes was a separate criteria?]

Of course. To err is to be human.

That said, you've more than met the qualities I prefer having in a collaborator.

[1stknight]

Likewise, you are easy to work with and are quite clever.

[He had many words he could use to describe their partnership, but keeping it simple and agreeable was probably for the best. He did lean his head back to rest it against Dazai's, though.]

I feel like, at the very least, I can trust you in this War. That you won't betray me or abandon me. That's important for us to work together as partners, isn't it?

[neverwashere]

...that's true enough.

[He couldn't remember now if his memories of Mori's involvement in Odasaku's death had spilled over. But even if they hadn't, Bedivere's words remained true. They both could do without backstabbing, and he shifted a little to press their backs closer.]

You're a weird one, you know. Not many would make that claim after knowing my history.

[He did vanish from the Mafia, after all, and he played along with Shibusawa's little ploy. Not the best track record.]

[1stknight]

I find no objection to being weird, Master. Your past informs you, but it does not define you.

[Though uh. Some of those more recent things are concerning, Dazai.]

I think my summoning was not on accident. The catalyst there, it could have summoned any member of the Round Table. But I was chosen to be your partner, over all of the other knights, all far more qualified to fight in a Grail War than me.

I have to believe that it has a purpose.

[neverwashere]

[The slight shift in topic was welcome. Or, at least, it sounded like a different tangent to him.]

Are you even sure it was reacting to me rather than the dead guy? I'm not disputing that you were the one summoned for a reason, but I also did arrive while his ritual was underway, and he had to be alive to finish speaking it.

[1stknight]

That could be, but I prefer to think that we were fated to meet regardless.

[Since he was already falling hard for Dazai, he wanted to think this was part of the universe's plans. It made it easier to accept.]

[neverwashere]

Oh?

[Prefer. That implied a measure of willingness. And Bedivere didn't seem like the type to act the opposite of what he truly felt.

Dazai tipped his head back, unknowingly mirroring Bedivere's earlier gesture.]

Flirting and all?

[1stknight]

Flirting and all.

[Even if the flirting left Bedivere flustered and stammering, it was still a key part of what made Dazai who he was. So, he could appreciate it.]

[neverwashere]

[They might be lying down, but Dazai swore he felt the world flip over and turn in on itself.

Cautiously, he looked over his shoulder. Of course, no amount of neck craning he'd do would let him glimpse at Bedivere's expression from that angle, but. He needed to know.]

Isn't that the kind of thing someone like you would, oh, reserve for a person you like, without the contractual obligation?

[Excuse him; for a smart guy, he could be pretty dense at times.]

[1stknight]

[Bedivere chuckled a low, warm chuckle. It was one that reverberated through his body, so Dazai might be able to feel it against his back.]

I think we passed the point of 'contractual obligation' already, Dazai.

[Apparently actually sleeping together was what loosened up Bedivere's reservations and made him more willing to consider that there might be more here than a master and a servant. Even if it was just for a little while, this was alright, wasn't it?]

[neverwashere]

[Because today was apparently one for acting like a high schooler with a crush, he wasn't able to stop his face from turning red, heart skipping a beat. That simple, huh.

It dawned on him that maybe Bedivere was the oblivious heartbreaker type. For Dazai, at least, because the only way Dazai could handle his attachment issues was by being ambivalent, and Bedivere, who clearly didn't have the same hangups, just steamrolled through that in less than a week.]

Well, then.

[But oh, Dazai could also be a fool. Which was why his response to his own warring feelings was to turn over and sling an arm around Bedivere's waist.]

Quite the shift in stance there.

[1stknight]

Ah? Is it too much?

[For a moment, Bedivere wondered if he was moving too quickly. Dazai had expressed an interest, and Bedivere was finally considering taking him up on that interest. But having gotten that reaction in return, Bedivere wondered if he had misjudged the situation.

If he could see Dazai's face, he would have known Dazai was lovestruck. But alas.]

I, ah, I do not wish to impose on you. I merely thought that we had an understanding.

[Bedivere also had a bat habit of not clearly stating what he meant, leaving room for misunderstandings.]

[neverwashere]

It's not so much an imposition as it is you going beyond the requirements of duty while skipping an entire lengthy courtship.

[Then he abruptly paused, replayed his own words in his head, and laughed, curling up on Bedivere's back - when all was said and done, this was a surprise, wasn't it?]

Serves me right, really, in letting my prediction get ahead of itself.

[1stknight]

Did you want to do a lengthy courtship?

[Lengthy was not possible, given that the grail war would last a couple weeks at most. But they could still do something.]

We, ah, we could take today as a 'rest day' and find something else to do. This city is large enough to have a plethora of activities we could participate in, yes?