1stknight | PSL (closed)

[That was really unfair. Making his heart flutter like that, only to pull back, it made him feel slightly disappointed. But he didn't say anything about it, and he just nodded. As much as he wanted this to mean something, he was too much of a coward to ask for it.]

Mmm. What do we do instead?

Edited (That autocorrect omg) 2020-11-11 07:02 (UTC)

[Bedivere's agreement was for the best, he told himself, his mouth lingering a touch too long with only a hair's breadth from that soft cheek.]

Why, we carry on.

[He traced the line of Bedivere's mouth, allowing himself to kiss them only in his imagination, and took the hand resting on his chest into his own, lifting it. Bedivere's fingers were as calloused as he expected, and Dazai ran his thumb over the worn lines of that palm.

Perhaps as a compromise with - or in consolation of - having certain things he couldn't express, he brushed his lips on Bedivere's wrist, raising his gaze to see what reaction he'd get.]

[Oh, Dazai would get a reaction to be sure. That reaction was to slip his hand down to take Dazai's, and then bring Dazai's hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of it. And then he smiled, showing he knew exactly what he was doing with that kiss.]

So when you say 'no kissing', you mean on the lips. I think I understand.

Yes.

[He didn't plan on explaining why. Moreover, he hadn't planned to be the one who was flustered, heart fluttering in his chest as Bedivere assumed the role of a perfect gentleman.

Was this Bedivere actually teasing him, or was Dazai looking too deep into the action for a sign that his jumbled mess of emotions was somehow reciprocated? He didn't dare think on that, choosing to up the game instead by leaning forward to leave a kiss and an experimental lick on the side of Bedivere's neck.]

Since when were you so smooth?

Since I have a good teacher. I'm a fast learner.

[Emotions were still hard though, and they needed time to work out just what they meant to each other. Bedivere was certainly charmed by Dazai, but love wasn't on his mind yet. They needed more time to bond first.

That said, these touches were very intimate, and certainly helped with the bonding. Bedivere let out a surprised gasp at the lick to his neck, but what was most surprising was how it made him feel like he had liquid fire coursing through his veins. He grabbed onto Dazai rather abruptly, seeking whatever he could hold to stabilize himself, as if he would fall over like a fainting waif otherwise.]

Do- do that again?

[It burned him to admit to it, but he liked how that made him feel.]

[The sudden grasp caught him off-guard, and he found himself holding onto Bedivere's elbow, his breath fanning on skin.]

Oh. [Bedivere liked that, and a grin spread on his lips.] Oh.

[He did it again as requested, and did a little more by scraping his teeth on the side of Bedivere's neck, his thumb rubbing small circles on a muscled forearm before sliding an arm around a trim waist.

If the teeth were welcome, he'd lightly suck on the skin just above the clavicle, easily hidden below a shirt collar.]

[For someone like Bedivere, who normally was clothed in high-collar garb, having so much exposed skin was unusual for him. It made the skin there sensitive to touch, and Dazai's attention there felt downright obscene. This was more than he had ever imagined, more than the words his books had ever shared with him.]

Master-

[The teeth were welcomed by him tipping his head back and exposing more of his neck. Even with Dazai holding onto his waist, he still let go of Dazai and threw his hand behind himself to prop himself up. The movement also upended his legs, which he had to move to the side before he got bent over onto his back.

This was how he found out that the bottom of the yukata offered a bit more freedom to move than he had expected. He was suddenly self-conscious, though, and he tried to reach down with his right arm to hold the bottom half of his yukata shut, but then he remembered that he had removed his arm already and had to keep his legs pressed together to keep the yukata closed. How frustrating.]

[Curious, how Bedivere went from encouraging Dazai to becoming too aware of the parting of his robes. Dazai huffed in amusement as he licked the mark he left and guided Bedivere down so that they lay on their sides next to each other on the futon.

Then he loosely hooked his calf over Bedivere's knees with a cheeky grin.]

Comfortable?

[Because this way, Bedivere wouldn't have to worry about his yukata sliding open if Dazai's leg kept the fabric in place and Dazai gave him another thing to be distracted with - temporarily, in the case of the former. Also, their position gave Bedivere the chance to roll either of one of them on top of the other, if resting on his side made things difficult for his arm-less shoulder.]

By the way, call me 'Dazai' while we're doing this. Addressing someone as 'Master' in bed has a different connotation.

Ah-

[Well, this certainly was a change of perspective. It really hit him there, how they were laying next to each other in bed and Dazai's leg had him trapped and he was enjoying all of it. He had no idea what was going to happen, and the newness of it all made him nervous, but he was excited too.

He fumbled for a bit, trying to figure out where to put his arm. Eventually he settled on Dazai's waist, laying his hand over Dazai and touching him through his yukata. They were supposed to be touching, right? This counted as touching.]

Alright, Dazai. And this is comfortable, yes.

[He tried a small smile, to show he was alright, but his nervousness ate at him too. Anticipation was going to kill him, he was sure of it.]

[Dazai inhaled softly. The arm around his waist felt like it belonged there, the warmth of it seeping through his bandages, tempting him to lean forward and do something reckless.

Up close, it was difficult to not see how soft Bedivere look, bravely trying to hide his nervousness as his soft hair spilled on the pillow, the hickey Dazai left earlier peeking out from the yukata's fabric.]

That's good.

[Where has his vocabulary gone? His next step? He pillowed his head with one arm to continue his self-imposed restriction and tilted his jaw just so to expose his gauze-covered neck and a bit of shoulder.]

So is this the part where you tell me you prefer clothed sex? [He dragged his other hand down Bedivere's side, ending at his hip.] Or is that not the case? Regardless, you should know that if what I suspect is correct, I'd hardly the only person interested in propositioning you. You'll look fine with or without the yukata on.

I really don't know what I prefer, I haven't done any of this before.

[He had some ideas- Dazai had seen Bedivere's strange dream, after all- but he was mostly left with the impression that it was done nude and the was a lot of rolling around involved. 'A roll in the hay' being a common description for sex in his time and all.

Having that hand on his hip felt nice, though. Being touched anywhere felt nice, if he was being honest. Mostly he just wanted to keep being touched, clothed or unclothed.]

What if we do what you like, and see if I like it too?

[He meant to point out how Bedivere had gone out of his way to keep his yukata closed, but this new suggestion made it irrelevant.]

That's one way to go about it.

[What he actually liked, on the other hand, wasn't straightforward because Dazai was the kind of person who hid behind layers of meaning. There were things he liked that anyone observant enough could guess - he might not have called out his own hand fetish, but neither has he hidden his tendency to grasp hands when he flirted. Then there were the things he kept to himself in case it might be used against him.

Maybe over time, Bedivere would've been someone he'd explore that second category with. But since being comfortable with that kind of undertaking might span longer than the Grail War was ongoing, it was one more thing he'd have to keep to dreams.

Ah well.

He figured that focusing on Bedivere's pleasure for the rest of the evening was preferable over tackling his thoughts.]

Lay on your back, then. I'd like to feel out for myself the body of a man capable of bearing the weight of a ridiculously heavy arm on a daily basis.

[But how could Bedivere satisfy Dazai's hand fetish if he only had one hand?

Jokes aside, Bedivere nodded. Dazai's declaration there got Bedivere to blush furiously though, because it was descriptive enough to paint a lovely mental picture of Dazai feeling up every inch of Bedivere's body. Even inches that normally went untouched, despite their insistence on being touched at this very moment. It was subtle, but Bedivere had to shift a bit to try and conceal his crotch, because even though he was only just starting to firm up it felt like he would be extremely obvious to Dazai if he didn't cover it up. But the act of trying to make his dick less obvious might have made it more obvious, ironically enough.

Bedivere then started to roll onto his back, but he stopped when he noticed a problem. Namely that Dazai would have to roll with him, given how entangled their legs were.]

Ah...come with me?

[Then he did move to roll onto his back, and Dazai would either have to go with him and end up sitting on him or let go entirely.]

[Yep, that only made the 'problem' more obvious, though Dazai simply grinned - he had plans.

Plans that now apparently included being rolled, and, breathlessly, he found himself resting his chin on Bedivere's chest. Being draped over a person taller than him was a surprisingly comfortable position, moreso when the person he was resting on looked gorgeous with his hair loose and silky-smooth all over his pillow.

Dazai swallowed.

Then he wiggled down so he could plant his face on Bedivere's chest, exactly on that patch of exposed skin above the yukata's opening.]

That invitation to come's a little bit early, hmm? I haven't even gotten you properly fired up.

[Oh, double-entendres. How had he forgotten about those? And for a moment, with Dazai sitting on him, so close to that problem that he can practically feel it, he swore he stopped breathing.

But then Dazai buried his face in Bedivere's chest, and that made the man squeak in surprise.]

P-properly- I would say you're doing a good job!

[He could feel that breath on his exposed skin and it made him shiver. But he's supposed to be touching Dazai too, yeah? He abruptly remembered that, and he reached up to put his hand on the back of Dazai's head. Holding him there, maybe. Or maybe just touching him? Touching was nice, even if he was unsure of exactly where to touch Dazai.]

But you can still feel better.

[He was being purposefully coy as he dragged his fingers up Bedivere's waist when he felt the hand settling on top of his head.

Dazai chuckled and blew a raspberry on Bedivere's skin, breaking the buildup that he had barely started. Talk about bringing vanilla to a whole new level.]

You can massage my scalp if you'd like. Just not too much or I might fall asleep even before I've had my fill of your dick.

[However that came across in Bedivere's imagination. The point was that talking dirty was entertaining when his audience of one was this kind of attentive, and Dazai shifted a little, deliberately rubbing against Bedivere's groin. So was that firmness poking him just his imagination, or did he now have more excuses to get handsy?]

[Bedivere was a virgin from a time when sex ed talks didn't really exist, but he wasn't completely blind to the urges the body could have. There had been nights on the road where he had spent the evening trying his best not to press his thighs together too firmly, so he knew physical stimulation felt good. But this was another thing entirely to have someone else do it to him.

His fingers gripped Dazai's hair tightly, not letting Dazai pull back.]

There's no way you can fall asleep now.

[Just like how Bedivere had no way out of being touched. He tried to roll his hips again and feel that pleasant tingle once more.]

[Dazai, unfortunately, had mixed information on what people knew of sex in Bedivere's time. On one end of the spectrum, there's archeological evidence of bathhouse graffiti, rumors of cultic orgies and fertility rites, and other relevant mythological references. On the other end, you have church-enforced celibacy (until marriage for lay people), chastity belts, and other polarized stories to scare people away from the supposed sins of sex and pleasure, yadda yadda yadda.

Institutions really needed to stay out of the bedroom. Without their influence, Dazai figured he'd be able to overthink less and get fewer mixed signals.

In any case, the hair pulling was effective in catching his attention: he had no idea that Bedivere was open to exerting this kind of force, and Dazai looked at him through half-lidded eyes, his pupils dilated.]

Indeed.

[And so he'd plant his knees on either side of Bedivere's legs to make movement easier, shivering at the slow friction. His hand wandered to the folds of Bedivere's yukata between them, and he as he lightly tugged the overlapping fabric, he brushed his fingers on the exposed skin, more of a cue than an action.]

Do you mind?

[He hoped Bedivere agreed to loosening his clothes a little, if not outright exposing his chest.]

[Bedivere was definitely closer to the 'church-enforced celibacy' end of that spectrum, though his was more self-enforced by his ideals as a knight. Wait until marriage, marry who you fall in love with, that kind of thing. Though that was largely because of Bedivere's ideas on how to be a knight, many knights of the Round Table were married or slept around.

And in that moment, when he felt he yukata part and Dazai's hand slip between the layers of fabric as their groins got deliciously close, he understood why that was always pushed as the 'ideal for a knight'. Sex was distracting. If he had known just how distracting it was back when he was alive, he was sure he would have strayed from his duty as a knight.

To answer Dazai's question, Bedivere nodded his head in agreement. He didn't mind at all, and he started to shift his body to let the yukata fall off of his shoulders (and his entire right side, thanks to no arm). It wasn't quite as easy as he had imagined it would be, but it was still easy enough for the yukata to slip down, exposing part of his chest and his biceps. The firm muscles there were free to touch, his chest was not nearly as marred with scars as other parts of him were.

He did feel a little self-conscious about his scars, though, and he ended up squeezing his eyes shut as he let Dazai touch him. He was holding his breath, like he was waiting for some kind of judgement over the state of his body, especially his lack of an arm. The scars there weren't pretty, and he was a little self-conscious about it.]

[One might even say some of Bedivere's contemporaries were infamous for their love lives.

Now, Dazai would argue that Bedivere as also distracting, and that the combination of Bedivere and sex was exponentially so, greater than the sum of his parts. The scarring on his skin, most prominently on his shoulder, were more than just curiosities, and toned muscles were more than just visible signs of strength.

His gaze softened as Bedivere seemed to dread how his appearance would be received, and Dazai spread his fingers, sliding his palm to where Bedivere's heart still pulsed in this second temporary life.]

Your appearance belies your strength, you know? I quite like it.

[He kissed Bedivere's shoulder, at the joint that should've connected an arm, and experimentally flicked the tip of his tongue on the skin.]

[Shit-talking Lancelot, everyone's favorite pasttime.

The words did reassure Bedivere, though, and he let out a breath he had been holding in. His heartbeat was steady under those fingers, a pulse of life despite all circumstances surrounding his existence at the moment. His chest rose and fell with his breaths too, which now came in quick succession.

The praise did make Bedivere feel a touch embarrassed, but he felt happy too. Praise in general was unusual for him to receive, and every bit of it filled his heart with joy.]

You're too kind.

[The kiss was nice too, though the lick felt a bit odd. The skin there was scarred not just from the original injury, but also from years and years of wearing straps for a prosthesis. The magical arm was much better, as it moved as an arm should and didn't chafe him, but his original stiff arm had been a struggle to use. A set of deep chafe-scars showed just where it used to rub at him, where skin had been worn away to the point of bleeding several times in the past. It left much of the skin feeling barely anything at all. But he did feel that lick, and it was not anything he had expected to feel.]

Dazai?

[Plus Tristan. And maybe Pelleas. Though Lancelot is the most well-known.

To be fair: in another version of history where this is all fictional, Lancelot's romance with Guinevere was viewed with approval as an example of courtly - and, therefore, true - love.

Then the French happened.]

[Now, Dazai wouldn't say he was kind, but that it was rare for him to give compliments openly. He looked up when Bedivere called his name, though, and kept himself still - was focusing attention on this patch of scar tissue a bit much?]

Yes, Saber?

Edited 2020-11-13 18:26 (UTC)

[It wasn't too much, it had just caught him by surprise because nobody really touched that part of him. Not that anybody ever touches him that much, but any touches he does experience are hugs, or a pat on the shoulder, or a handshake. Nobody touches that shoulder. In fact, most people try to avoid looking at it for too long. There was a reason Bedivere wore a long cloak with his armor.]

It...doesn't bother you, does it?

[His gaze drifted to the side, to what he could see of his right shoulder while laying down. Then he looked back to Dazai.]

No.

[Now, he actually made a show of dragging his tongue on the jagged line between smooth and scarred skin, ending with a kiss to Bedivere's clavicle. Dazai has seen his fair share of scars on his own body and others'.]

You got this in battle, didn't you? Doubtless in service of one cause or the other.

Your resilience truly is remarkable.

In battle, and just living beyond that.

[And here Dazai was, praising him again. He sucked in a breath too try and steady himself, but it still came back out of him shaky.

He looked to Dazai's again, specifically to his arm. And regardless of what he saw- bandage or skin, depending on how dressed up Dazai had gotten- both would get the same result.]

You are too, you know. Your body speaks of your battles too.

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